Trail notes

Come up with some thoughts about the trail so far, hope it will prove useful and/or entertaining

– “Crocs with Socks” isn’t such a bad look

– Long drops are preferable to shitting in the woods no matter what they smell like

– Being able to wash your hands after the above cannot be overrated

– Water from Forest streams is the best in the world

– NZ is the best place in the world. period

– Even men miss mirrors

– an Air matress is essential

– You can never pack your kit as small and as neatly as when you bought it

– you will love your feet and give them more attention than you ever have in your whole life

– Farting… you only have 2 options when with fellow trampers. Either you do them in absolute silence or as loud as you possibly can with a proud announcement preceeding them or immediately after.

– Always remember where you had a pee in the night so that you don’t place any of your kit on this area the next morning

– when offered something by a fellow tramper always accept but remember to reciprocate. for example strapping plaster= 1 kiwi fruit, 2 sweets = 30 blanched peanuts, antiseptic spray = cup of coffee

– never never never leave litter, you will feel guilty and whenever you come across others litter you are disgusted by their behaviour

– don’t talk in your sleep especially if you speak English (gibberish is fine)

– bring ear plugs – others snore just as loud as you and you can’t hear the complaints when you do

– Water becomes your number 1 priority

– Initially you keep the signs of weight loss to yourself but then start boasting when the evidence is compelling such as when your shorts start falling down, your belt has tightened by an extra notch etc

– you will inevitably start comparing the weight and calorific value of your dried pasta dishes

– Walking in company is much better than on your own and you can be in your own company even when you are with others (huh!?)

-You will check the colour of your pee to see how hydrated you are

-You will get to know the weight of your fellow trampers equipment such as tents, sleeping bags (inc their comfort range), stoves, etc

– You will learn about stuff like Hydrostatic head, wicking quality of material, taped seams etc

– Fellow trampers aren’t necessarily ignoring your banal conversation, they may have their MP3 player on

– It’s far better to be a bloke when it comes to night time urination

– 49 year olds and slower than thirty somethings

– Always try and tramp with someone who is tastier to sandflies and mossies

– Walking in native forest streams is the best experience you can openly talk about

– When adjusting your pillow made from your spare clothes try not to bring the underpants you have worn for the last 2 days into contact with your nostrils.

– There is a moment of gratifying self-satisfaction when your obviously “just bought” novice equipment starts to look well used and scruffy.

– Try not to be the first to get up and packed, nor the last





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